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Secret Dating
 For Valentine’s Day, we thought it fitting to offer a News Break about love. But of course, we won’t pick a Hallmark card style teen love story, because relationships--
regardless of age—are never simple.
Things get especially complicated for young people when parents don’t want their teenaged children to date it the first place. That’s the case for Youth Radio LA’s Consuelo Cisneros, whose parents think at 17, their daughter is too young to date. But what’s to keep teens from having a secret boyfriend or girlfriend? Consuelo has been doing exactly that. It’s just that the pressure of hiding her boyfriend is becoming too much.
Consuelo: I asked my mom about teen relationships and she went off about sexually transmitted diseases and how we aren’t mature enough to deal with all of the consequences of sexual activity. Geez, I meant it more as a just dating. We are using the same Spanish word – “relaciones” – but it means very different things to us – to my mom it means sex, to me it’s way more innocent than that.
Shifting between Spanish and English, Consuelo includes the voices of her friend, her mother, and even Mario—the boyfriend himself. She addresses the challenge of growing up with parents who have different values from her peers, and describes how she reaches the decision, finally, to tell her parents the truth.
Click here to find the full script and audio for this story.
Teach Youth Radio
For this month's feature, you will be able to view these strategies and resources:
1. How teachers can align this Youth Radio story to National Standards in the classroom.
2. Suggestions for lesson plans that link the story's content to your classroom's themes and subject areas.
3. Suggestions for lesson plans that explore media literacy, using the story to re-read mainstream media.
4. Bios of the Youth Radio reporters who produced the story.
5. A list of resources and further research related to the story's themes.
6. Links to Youth Radio’s media production techniques as guides and inspiration for your students’ creative media-making projects.
1. NATIONAL STANDARDS: Standards Alignment
Subject: LANGUAGE ARTS
NL-ENG.K-12.1 READING FOR PERSPECTIVE
NL-ENG.K-12.3 EVALUATION STRATEGIES
NL-ENG.K-12.4 COMMUNICATION SKILLS
NL-ENG.K-12.5 COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES
NL-ENG.K-12.6 APPLYING KNOWLEDGE
NL-ENG.K-12.7 EVALUATING DATA
NL-ENG.K-12.8 DEVELOPING RESEARCH SKILLS
NL-ENG.K-12.11 PARTICIPATING IN SOCIETY
NL-ENG.K-12.12 APPLYING LANGUAGE SKILLS
Subject: HEALTH
NPH-H.9-12.1 HEALTH PROMOTION AND DISEASE PREVENTION
NPH-H.9-12.2 HEALTH INFORMATION, PRODUCTS AND SERVICES
NPH-H.9-12.3 REDUCING HEALTH RISKS
NPH-H.9-12.4 INFLUENCES ON HEALTH
NPH-H.9-12.7 HEALTH ADVOCACY
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2. NEWS YOU CAN USE: Story content in your classroom, Suggestions for lesson plans
Pre-Listening Activity
Secret dating: When students hear the News Break’s title, what do they think about? Write “Secret Dating” on a piece of paper and have your students take turns writing a line to create a story based on the topic, circulating the paper until everyone has had the opportunity to contribute. Read the piece out loud and then listen to Consuelo Cisnero’s “Secret Dating.” How do the two stories compare?
Language Arts:
Romance and Novels: How is young love portrayed in a novel your class is currently reading? How does Consuelo’s piece compare to that literary depiction of love? Ask students to highlight places in both texts where tensions or communication gaps arise between parents and their teenaged children, when it comes to love. What does the comparison between Consuelo’s story and their assigned novel say to your students about the individual characters and social contexts explored in their two textual examples? Which story do your students consider more convincing or resonant with their own experiences?
In “love”: How do your students define different kinds of “love” (e.g., with romantic partners, parents, siblings, friends)? As if these various forms of love weren’t complex enough in a single language, Consuelo moves between two languages: Spanish and English. She talks explicitly about the role of language in communicating—and mis-communicating—with her mother about love. “Muy Muy malo porque hoy en dia hay muchas enfermedades contiagiosas y ademas no estan preparados…” her mother says in the story, and Consuelo goes on: “I asked my mom about teen relationships, and she went off about sexually transmitted diseases and how we aren’t mature enough to deal with all of the consequences of sexual activity. Geez, I meant it more as a just dating. We are using the same Spanish word – “relaciones” – but it means very different things to us – to my mom it means sex, to me it’s way more innocent than that.” Ask students in your class who speak multiple languages to share their understandings of different terms for love, and their varied meanings. Can the concept of love ever fully be translated from one language to another?
Truth be told: Consuelo announced her love for her boyfriend on National Public Radio, so the entire nation could share her news—although because her parents are Spanish speakers, she was confident that they would probably never hear the story on the air. Do students feel that it is easier to make an announcement like this on radio to the world or face-to-face with the people directly involved? Have students ever been in a situation where they held a big secret they could not tell their parents? How did that situation unfold? What personal and ethical decisions would someone in Consuelo’s situation need to think about when determining whether to share a secret in a public forum? It’s a dilemma all authors who publish stories based on their private lives and relationships need to face, again and again. Have your students put themselves in Consuelo’s shoes and also discuss stories from their own lives that they would and would not tell to a massive audience.
Parental views: Consuelo says dating at a young age for teens in her world is “normal, but some parents have a different perspective.” How does this piece reflect a conflict in cultural and/or generational values? Do students think Consuelo’s parents have good reason to be protective of their daughter? Why or why not? Have students break into groups and experiment with various ways of composing a “Part Two” of Consuelo’s story, with different endings, depending on how her parents respond to the news of their daughter’s relationship with Mario. What might happen next?
Health:
Having that conversation: In Consuelo’s words, “I want my parents to be involved in all aspects of my life, not just my academics. But I find it hard to talk about my personal feelings since they never talk about their emotions with me.” She also brings in her friend Stacey, who told her parents about her relationship but then lied about a breaking up. Listening to the commentary, you can feel like you’re being carried along with Consuelo, as she decides that she does not want to lie to her parents anymore. What are some strategies that students can offer when having a serious conversation with parents about an emotional issue? How does their advice compare with the communication tools offered at: TeensHealth.com
Healthy relationships: Consuelo says, “I asked my mom about teen relationships and she went off about sexually transmitted diseases and how we aren’t mature enough to deal with all of the consequences of sexual activity.” What are those consequences—emotional and physical? There are several prior Teach Youth Radio News Breaks that explore the intersection of intimate relationships, family, and generational differences: for example, Quincy Mosby’s Her Struggle, and My Struggle, with AIDS , Sanovia Jackson’s Abstinence , Chandra Touch’s Domestic Violence , and Karime Blanco’s Over Protected By Love. Another story from Youth Radio’s archive with relevance here is The Talk.You might have your students listen to all four stories and compare the various perspectives they glean from this body of work.
LGBTQ perspectives: Consuelo Cisnernos feels the need to keep her relationship with Mario a secret because of her parents’ disapproval. LGBTQ youth face a whole host of added considerations, from within and beyond their families, when deciding whether to come out about their relationships or keep dating secret. Have your students do research into resources and supports available to LGBTQ youth in your school and community.
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3. CRITICAL MEDIA LITERACY: Putting This Story in Context
Gender Analysis: In your students’ experience, are young men and women affected in the same way by dating restrictions? Do young men have to keep their relationships hidden from their parents as well? What are some of the reasons behind gender disparities in how honest and open young people can be about whether and whom they date? Have students identify a series of popular television shows targeting youth audiences, assign groups of students to each show, and have them analyze the extent to which gender is a factor in how the storylines portray love in relationships among teens.
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4. MEET THE COMMENTATOR
Consuelo Cisneros is a graduating senior at Venice High School in Los Angeles. She has worked as a Youth Radio reporter for 2 years, and is active in her school's marching band and track and field team. She is looking forward to attending a California State University in the fall, and hopes to one day be a motivational speaker..
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5. RESOURCES AND RESEARCH
• Kidshealth.org
• Plannedparenthood.org
• YELL
• HIFY
• CDC
• NAHIC
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6. MEDIA PRODUCTION FOR LEARNING: Making Audio Narratives
Click here to link to Youth Radio's guidelines for conducting interviews, writing commentaries, and producing features.
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