Losing a Limb

"If they do have to remove her leg, I hope losing a lower limb won’t result in the subtraction of her sweet, sweet personality. I love my grandma with all my heart. Anything she’ll ever need, if I can do it, it’s done!"

By Ayesha Walker

Listen to this Commentary!

Youth Radio's Ayesha Walker shares the story of her grandmother Ollie Dupree and her battle with gangrene, a condition that weakened blood flow to an injured area on the body. After learning more of the diagnosis, Ayesha wonders if the doctors surgical practices had anything to do with her grandmother's bacterial infection. Ollie and her family recently found out that the amputation of her leg is the best solution to ending her battle with gangrene.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a grandmother that was in the best of health. She didn’t have to depend on any medication to keep her going. For a lady in her 70’s, she always had masses of energy. My grandmother was always on her feet and always in the streets.

Then, almost a year ago, my grandmother fell while walking around a casino and broke her leg. The doctors gave her a cast, pain medication, crutches, and a wheelchair. It was very hard for her to get around. She couldn’t walk on her own; she no longer joined her friends on bingo night; and her energy was drained. In due time, her cast was removed and she regained strength in her leg.

Months later, both of my grandmother's legs started to swell, and a blister formed on her pinky toe. She took a visit to the doctor to find out what was going on. They weren’t quite sure what the problem was. To get more clarity on her situation, they took a sample from the blister for testing. I remember her saying, “They stuck this big long needle in my toe and look at it now.” She pointed at the puss secreting from the blister. It seemed like the swelling got bigger.

On her next visit with the same doctor, she found out that the swelling was caused by gangrene – a condition that weakened blood flow to her pinky toe, leaving her without any circulation in her leg. It turns out, gangrene can occur when an injured area is contaminated with bacteria. Gangrene weakens your blood cells and blocks your blood flow. If left untreated, it spreads throughout your body, killing your blood cells, and results in deterioration of the skin and bones. It can also cause auto-amputation...that’s when the infected area falls off on its own. In severe cases, gangrene can even cause death.

When I heard my grandmother had gangrene, I asked my mom if we can go to a different hospital and have a different doctor’s opinion. She said, “We don’t have the money Ayesha, we just don’t have the money.” So my grandmother never got her second opinion.

After learning of her condition, she realized she would have to have her pinky toe surgically removed. But I began to wonder, because gangrene is caused by a bacterial infection, whether or not the doctors were responsible for the decay of body tissue in her toe.

I remember that Friday, the day of her surgery, I was at work. My grandfather came into Safeway and told me the surgery wasn’t successful, still no blood flow in her leg. Countless “what-if’s” began to run through my mind.

Now, I’m a cashier, so how the heck am I supposed to accurately and efficiently check out everyone and their daddies with this going on in my head? Because I was so red in the face and teary-eyed, my manager dismissed me from the check stand. I went upstairs to the break room and cried.

My grandmother had to have a second surgery to see if there were any blood clots. The doctor took a vein from part of her leg and wrapped it around the whole leg, and now, she has staples from her ankle to her groin. If the blood in her leg does not start to circulate, she may have to have a third surgery, which will be the amputation of her right leg.

Finding out that this horrible nightmare isn’t over really upsets me. I don’t like the fact that she has to go through so much pain. But anything to save my grandmother from further difficulties, believe me, I’m for it! I just pray she’ll have an alternative solution to the amputation of her leg. Or better yet, her blood starts to circulate properly on its own.

I was explaining to my friend Dru, what was going on with my grandma and he told me, “You know, sometimes when people lose a part of their body, they act a little different. ‘Cuz I knew this one guy that used to play football, he hurt himself and had to have his leg removed. They gave him a prosthetic leg. He got real mean.”

If they do have to remove her leg, I hope losing a lower limb won’t result in the subtraction of her sweet, sweet personality. I love my grandma with all my heart. Anything she’ll ever need, if I can do it, it’s done!

She’s very strong about her situation. I don’t think it worries her at all. But if it does, she has a beautiful way of hiding it from her family. I asked her if it bothers her any. She said, “Nope, not at all. As long as the pain goes away, I’m good.”

I’d say my mom is the one carrying the most weight, but I think she tries to hide her pain from me. The rest of my family is just as worried, but she stresses the most. My grandpa is hanging in there pretty well. Every step that’s needed to take, he’s right there by my grandma’s side. Through all these years, they’ve been the perfect couple...and this difficult situation isn’t changing anything.

I can’t help but worry, just like any other grandchild, I want my granny to thrive, to be healthy and stay strong. Throughout this whole experience, I’ve learned never to take anything for granted. Despite my thick arms and chubby thighs, I’ll be appreciative of all my limbs and body parts from now on. Even though what I have isn’t perfect, in the words of my mom, "There’s someone out there that doesn’t have it at all."