Rebellion Through Religion
A view on John Walker through the eyes of a teen with liberal
parents
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to this Commentary!
By Belia Mayeno-Choy
 So
much of teen identity is centered around the ways we disobey our
parents. We define ourselves by being everything our mothers and
fathers are not. But when you have relatively permissive parents,
like mine, the kind that say nothing when you get your 12th piercing
or move in with your boyfriend at age 18 — you're tempted to
go to extremes to rebel.
I was happy that my parents supported and accepted my decisions,
but many other young people in my situation actually wish for the
rigid structure we don't get. I'm sure John Walker will never say
his fervent religious convictions are a result of teenage rebellion,
but the stories of his increasingly consuming search for self say
otherwise. I know other teens like Walker, who looked towards God
for the strict guidance they didn't have at home. Family friends
of mine who spent their childhoods at protest marches and community
organization meetings now perplex and bait their mothers with newfound
evangelical faith. It's almost the only option they have if they
want to rebel against parents who say nothing about obscene tattoos
or premarital sex — besides becoming a Republican day trader
or something.
Of course not all teens fit the worn out cliché about wanting
the opposite of what you have — you know, that annoying saying
involving grass and greenness. And this theory doesn't completely
explain how a 20-year-old kid from a liberal part of California
ends up fighting a war on the side of an oppressive fanatical regime
halfway around the world. That is rebellion beyond the scope of
most teens' imaginations. But the seeds of John Walker's journey
to Afghanistan did begin with his parents. So then the question
has to be asked, "If you can't be too strict, or too permissive,
what exactly is the right way to raise a child?"
Sorry, Moms and Dads… I don't exactly know. But the best idea
I have so far is advice I got from my parents. Find the middle ground.
Growing up is about finding out for yourself what works and doesn't
work in your life. You can let your 17-year-old daughter go on a
date with her boyfriend, but don't buy her a ticket to Yemen no
questions asked.
I got through adolescence without joining a cult, getting pregnant
or developing a drinking problem - but I did that because of me,
not my parents. I had to make my own mistakes, and believe me, there
were a lot. But even while I was stumbling through my teens, thinking
I was grown, I never forgot that my parents would be there the next
day no matter what I did.
For Youth Radio, I'm Belia Mayeno-Choy
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