|
Single Moms Need A Break
"I've always thought that there is nothing wrong with going out and having a good time as long as you are responsible."
Listen
to this Commentary!
By Cassandra Gonzalez
Talk about a baby boom. About fifteen of my friends and even some of my friends' friends were having babies- all at the same time. All of us except five are single, young moms, and many of us were even teen moms when our babies were born.
I've been going to school and handling business on my own since I had my daughter. Many of my friends work and support their babies on their own. I've been lucky enough to have family to help me when I need it, but some of my friends are not as lucky.
Being that all of us were straight party animals before we got impregnated, it was hard for us to give up that life and switch to a life of better judgment and responsibility. Imagine doing whatever you want, and having nobody to tell you anything, and all of the sudden- months after you hit the legal age of independence from curfew and nagging parents- you have a baby.
I turned twenty-one about three weeks ago. I want to go out. But sometimes I just can't. My baby might be sick, no baby sitter or worst of all… complaining and nagging family members.
"You are a mom now."
"Take care of your baby."
"You should not have had sex if you did not want to deal with the baby."
And the absolute worst is when they put me on a guilt trip saying how horrible a mother I am when I actually do go out. I've always thought that there is nothing wrong with going out and having a good time as long as you are responsible. If you take care of your baby and have your priorities right, then go and have a good time once in a while.
And family members…especially those who do not have kids and don't know what it is like: give us a break and get off our backs.
We are not in the 1800's any more. We don't have to stay home and slave over a hot stove all day cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids. Get over it. Even my psychotherapist who specializes in childbirth and parenting said…"You have to make time for yourself and go out because if you don't you might end up resenting your child and your life." Being a mom is not about the expectations everyone else has for you, but about what your expectations are for yourself. And as long as you meet those expectations don't worry about what any body says.
|
|
